“Don't cook that chicken - it still has feathers.”

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!”

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”

“I don't eat chicken abortions!”

“I do have some leftover chicken and pasta. (Grace)
And wine?… That’s acceptable (Julian)
Look, buster, I’m not your cooking wench. Mess with me and I’ll feed you Alpo. (Grace)”

“Chicken and still later exports from India are absent in common Laurasian ritual.”

“When I was six I had a chicken that walked backward and was in the Pathe News. I was in it too with the chicken. I was just there to assist the chicken but it was the high point in my life. Everything since has been anticlimax.”

“How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.”

“The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go she went.”

“I don't believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you make. … Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed—eh bien, tant pis! Usually one's cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile … then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile—and learn from her mistakes.”