“Your kitchen is not inferior to a queen's boudoir!' I replied with a pleasant smile, 'but we must leave it now; for the gentlemen may be cursing me for keeping them away from their duties in the kitchen so long.”

“And now, gentlemen, like your manners, I must leave you.”

“You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.”

“The science of life is a superb and dazzlingly lighted hall which may be reached only by passing through a long and ghastly kitchen.”

“You know something? There's been a lot of rumors lately about a certain band called Queen. The rumors are that... The rumors are that we're gonna split up. What do you think? [audience replies "No!"] [Pointing to his posterior] They're talking from here! [audience replies "Yes"!] My apologies, but I say what I want. You know what I mean? So forget those rumors. We’re gonna stay together until we fucking well die, I’m sure of it. I keep — I must tell you — I keep wanting to leave, but they won’t let me. Also, I suppose we’re not... We're not bad for four aging queens, are we? Really, what do you think?”

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.”

“I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.”

“There's way too many frickin' -- excuse me -- cooks in the kitchen.”

“I've been thinking of installing a train in my house. It could bring me shrimp crackers from the kitchen.”

“They found me at the kitchen table. Derek said, "There's something we need to tell you," and from the look on Andrew's face, I think he expected Derek to say he'd gotten me pregnant.”