“You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?”

“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”

“Call me or I’ll call you, but one of us will call, yes? What I mean is it’s not a competition. You don’t lose I you phone first.”

“You're born, you know, the wrong names, wrong parents. I mean, that happens. You call yourself what you want to call yourself. This is the land of the free.”

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.”

“Call up, ring once, hang up the phone,
To let me know you made it home,
Don't want nothing to be wrong,
With part-time lover.”

“This is me.’" He handed her the precious scrap of paper. ‘Call me or I’ll call you, but one of us will call, yes? What I mean is it’s not a competition. You don’t lose if you phone first.”

“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make who would you call and what would you say?
And why are you waiting?”

“I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone.”

“And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called.
And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all.
And you flash back to when he said forever and always.
Oh, and it rains in your bedroom,
Everything is wrong.
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone.
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always.”