“It's like you put a turd in her mouth.”
Radio From Hell (February 9, 2007)
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“I don't like to put the whole thing in my mouth.”
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“A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.”
Leaving Cheyenne (1963).

To Alastair Campbell on David Trimble according to Campbell's diaries, The Blair Years (2007) http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=XAUVWij78oQC&pg=PA320&lpg=PA320&dq=%22Someone+should+tell+him+that+part+of+the+art+of+politics+is+smiling+when+you+feel+like+you%E2%80%99re+swallowing+a+turd%22&source=bl&ots=NeSrq9ZCGr&sig=hXsgQneQqkODxOnpvNE1yWfmPto&hl=en&sa=X&ei=DSWBUriUFI6jhgfd9YDYCQ&ved=0CC4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=%22Someone%20should%20tell%20him%20that%20part%20of%20the%20art%20of%20politics%20is%20smiling%20when%20you%20feel%20like%20you%E2%80%99re%20swallowing%20a%20turd%22&f=false
Attributed

“I just let it roll. Like a hot turd down a hill.”
Source: The Captain is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship

Letter to J.B.Sutton, 21 December 1942