“I went to the store and bought eight apples. The clerk said, "Do you want me to put them in a bag?" I said, "Oh no, man, I juggle. But I can only juggle eight. If I'm ever here buying nine apples, bag 'em up!"”

—  Mitch Hedberg

Just For Laughs gala https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-zFQ9fOTSU&feature=youtu.be&t=3m15s, Hedberg's final Just For Laughs performance (2004)

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Mitch Hedberg 101
American stand-up comedian 1968–2005

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