“Note to self: While on the treadmill you may lip-sync to the songs on your iPod but DO NOT dance along. You look like an idiot.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“If you hear a song you like, start dancing. That's what I do, I'll just start dancing, and that's it. That's all there is to it.”

“If you have time to chatter,
Read books.

If you have time to read,
Walk into mountain, desert and ocean.

If you have time to walk,
Sing songs and dance.

If you have time to dance,
Sit quietly, you happy, lucky idiot.”

“The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?”

“You sing the song in your heart and the people it resonates with are going to dance to it.”

“Don't look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.”

“I like to take chances, and that's the key to comedy -- dancing like an idiot but doing it with wild abandon.”

“Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.”

“I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.”