“The boys in my grade talked about sex a lot. Some of them even told me that they had sex with their girlfriends. This was the most devastating and traumatizing thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Boys having sex at my age of Fourteen? I couldn’t fathom it. How is it that they were able to have such intimate and pleasurable experiences with girls while I could only fantasize about it? I frequently started asking myself. This was an all-boys school… How in the hell were those boys even able to meet girls to have sex with? I wondered. I hoped they were lying. I hoped against all hope. […] and one of my obnoxious classmates named Jesse was bragging about having sex with his girlfriend. I defiantly told him that I didn’t believe him, so he played a voice recording of what sounded like him and his girlfriend having sex. I could hear a girl saying his name over and over again while she panted franticly. He grinned at me smugly. I felt so inferior to him, and I hated him.”

My Twisted World (2014), Thoughts at 14

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Elliot Rodger52

American spree killer 1991–2014

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“Why were the little girls all frightened
To be just what they are
The boys were told to ask themselves
How high how far
The girls were told to reach the shelves
While the boys were reaching stars
That's why little girls were frightened
To be just what they are.”

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“I said goodbye to a skinny boy I had made friendship bracelets with morning and asked how old he was. I was shocked when he said he was almost fourteen. We were practically the same age, but he was so malnourished that he was barely the size of my eight-year old cousin. Most of the other boys and girls were so poorly fed that they had gray hair on top of their heads. It was a reminder for me of how blessed I am, and how even the biggest of smiles can't fill up someone's stomach.”

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“They were a traumatized lot, those boys. And I just felt frivolous.”

William Gibson (1948) American-Canadian speculative fiction novelist and founder of the cyberpunk subgenre

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Context: Consequently, when I got to Toronto, much to my chagrin, I really, really couldn't handle hanging out with the American draft dodgers. There was too much clinical depression. Too much suicide. Too much hardcore substance abuse. They were a traumatized lot, those boys. And I just felt frivolous.

“Why did the little girls grow crippled
While the little boys grow strong
The boys allowed to come of age
The girls just came along
The girls were told sing harmonies
The boys could all sing songs
That's why little girls grew crippled
While little boys grew strong.”

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“I was so tired of seeing these stupid, cheerful books about ageing. One of them even has this whole thing in it about how you are going to have the greatest sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. Which is just garbage.I thought about it and realised that there was one circumstance that you could have the best sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. That would be if you had never had sex until you were 60 or 70.”

Nora Ephron (1941–2012) Film director, author screenwriter

Quoted in Christopher Goodwin, "Get real – ageing’s not all Helen Mirren" http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article1466183.ece, Times Online (UK) (4 March 2007)

“It was that pathetic feeling of not having a hot girlfriend on my arm while some other boys in the theatre did. What I truly wanted… what I truly NEEDED, was a girlfriend. I needed a girl’s love. I needed to feel worthy as a male. For so long I have felt worthless, and it’s all girls’ fault. No girl wanted to be my girlfriend.”

Elliot Rodger (1991–2014) American spree killer

My Twisted World (2014), 19-22, UC Santa Barbara, Inceldom

“I excused myself as soon as I finished eating, and boy did I stuff myself on that meal. I then walked outside onto the beach. The wine had long since gone to my head, making me feel a sense of dizzy invigoration. I started walking along the shore, taking in the magnificence of the gentle, moonlit ocean. It was so… romantic. I kept walking and walking with no destination in mind. The romance of it all filled me with despair and longing. I wanted a girlfriend to experience that moment with me, but no girl wanted to be my girlfriend. The only thing I could do was imagine how heavenly it would be to have a beautiful girl by my side. It is such a shameful tragedy.”

Elliot Rodger (1991–2014) American spree killer

I ended up walking for two hours, and at the end of it I was crying to myself because I felt so sad.
My Twisted World (2014), Thoughts at 19, Longing

“Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk — real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.”

Jack Kerouac book On the Road

Source: On the Road

“I was the all-American boy, the Eagle Scout. I remember I was at my girlfriend's apartment, and there were these strange publications like The Nation and The New Republic. I started looking at them and thought, "Gee, this is weird; people saying things against America?" It was an awakening. On the East Coast, I'd never even heard of conscientious objectors.”

Lawrence Ferlinghetti (1919) American artist, writer and activist

San Francisco Chronicle, September 24, 2012 http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/Lawrence-Ferlinghetti-s-indelible-image-3886925.php#page-2

“George W. Bush: How's your boy?
Webb: I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President
Bush: That's not what I asked you. How's your boy?
Webb: That's between me and my boy, Mr. President.”

Jim Webb (1946) American politician, military officer and author

In Following His Own Script, Webb May Test Senate's Limits, Washington Post, November 29, 2006, Michael D. Shear http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/28/AR2006112801582.html,

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Elliot Rodger52

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