“Carlos: Manly-Man Training Academy, Butch speaking! … OH! Señor Ortiz! Sí, this is Toni's number. …¿¡De qué estás hablando?! ¡No! I'm not the father! I'm just the babysitter, I swear! ¿Qué?! You want me to marry your daughter?”

— Alison Bechdel , book Dykes to Watch Out For

Well okay, but I'm keeping my own name!
#232, "A Smidge Too Far" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

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Alison Bechdel 58

American cartoonist, author 1960

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“[A social worker has shown up to talk about Raffi's adoption during dinner with Toni's parents]
Sr. Ortiz: What's going on here?
Toni: Uh… mamá y papá, Gwynne… viene de la iglesia! ¡Sí, sí! Y viene para hablar… uh… del bautizo de Rafael! Decidimos que sería bueno que lo bautizaramos! (Mom, dad… Gwynne is… from the church! Yeah! And she's here to talk about, uh… Rafael's christening! We've decided to get him baptized!)
Sra. Ortiz: Gracias a Dios!
Sr. Ortiz: How very good of you to come, Sister.
Gwynne: Back at ya, brother! It's a pleasure in this day and age to meet folks who are so supportive of their daughter's decision.
Sra. Ortiz: That is unusual?! This country is even more wicked than I thought!
Gwynne: Yes, it's a shame, but many lesbians' parents tend to disapprove.
Sr. Ortiz: What does her being a … a homosexual have to do with it?
Gwynne: Exactly, Mr. Ortiz! If only more people felt like you!”

Alison Bechdel book Dykes to Watch Out For

#246, "The Converts" (1996), collected in Hot, Throbbing DTWOF (1997).
Dykes to Watch Out For

“Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin.
I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture”

Jennifer Crusie book Bet Me

Source: Bet Me

“Y'all guys can't define me or define my work as a father, i'm many things i'm many things you know, yeah i'm a convicted rapist, i'm a hell raiser, i'm a father, i'm a loving father, i'm, you know, a semi- good husband, you know what i mean? What? You know i'm just a man out here trying to enjoy my, you know I was born poor I ain't never had nothing I don't know how to act but the real thing is i'm just here to be me. I do'nt care about who anyone things at this stage in my life but yeah, i'm pretty much a tyrant titan. Yeahs thats who I am.”

Mike Tyson (1966) American boxer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBqoaW2oEsU&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fgawker.com%2F5256086%2Fted-nugent-is-the-new-mike-tyson%3Fautoplay%3Dtrue&feature=player_embedded
On himself