“Bernie Madoff, who was put in jail for losing $64B actually looks damn good against the Cook's near 5X bigger loss.”

“There's no such thing, like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans.”

“I get tired of hearing it's a crummy world and that people are no damned good. What kind of talk is that? I know a place in Payette, Idaho, where a cook and a waitress and a manager put everything they've got into laying a chicken-fried steak on you.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“When I’m old and gray, I want to have a house by the sea. And paint. With a lot of wonderful chums, good music, and booze around. And a damn good kitchen to cook in.”

“He does not lose anything, for with the loss of himself he loses the knowledge of loss.”

“The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go she went.”

“Consciously risk the loss of something before losing it, and you will lose the fear of losing it.”

“There is this lie floating around that says I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself. But I actually believe there is something bigger than me, and I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out.”

“The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.”