“(intro) Well, here we go. This is the first book I've written since 1975, when I was in the 7th grade and wrote Boogers Are Good Eatin'.”

“God has, in fact, written two books, not just one. Of course, we are all familiar with the first book he wrote, namely Scripture. But he has written a second book called creation.”

“There is no such thing, wrote Oscar Wilde, as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. Presumably, then, Mein Kampf would have been all right had it been better written.”

“Sometimes I pick up a book and I say: Well, so you've written it first, have you? Good for you. O. K., then I won't have to write it.”

“I can tell you I wrote every single word in this [her first children's] book -- in English and Spanish. I've been writing poetry and stories since I was a kid. And I am a songwriter. But you have limitations when you are a songwriter.... It was really a luxury to have 31 pages to expound upon.”

“I've been playing since fifth grade. I've never played more poorly than I did today. I've never been more disappointed in myself.”

“Well, I probably won't get too good grades even without you: I had an argument (completely unrelated – not even pertaining to OS's) with the person here at the university that teaches OS design. I wonder when I'll learn :)”

“And just because I've written this book, don't think I've changed. I'm like I was back then, really.”

“I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.”

“Times have changed since the Good Book was written, and you can’t hold with a purely Fundamentalist approach in complex times.”