“We've sure come a long way since then. Sometimes I wish we hadn't. I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer show.”

“Jerry Springer: Please meet GG Allin. GG has been arrested more than 52 times in over 12 states for the nudity, obscenity and violence that are part of his music performances. He says the fans love the thrill of coming to his show knowing that their lives are in danger.”

“Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.”

“Hi, do you me? My face is seen around Cincinnati constantly. But when I travel, say across state lines people don’t know me, Jerry Springer, from Jerry Ford. That’s way I carry this, the American Express Card. It’s the card that good at thousands of clubs and motels across the river. I can even get hassle free check approval. For quick and enjoyable entertainment it can’t be beat, just like me.”

“In the end we're all Springer guests, really, we just haven't been on the show.”

“It's not a sin, and it's certainly not inaccurate, to say we've come a long way, baby. Not mission accomplished, just a long way.”

“Loving, we've been loving, but sometimes hate is better
You can't keep out the killers with love, man
Hating, we've been hating, but only love can heal up the hate ~ Nightfriends”

“I wish them a long and happy life. If it's as long as their wedding, I'm sure they'll be fine.”

“You've always had me… and my heart. My soul. Everything. I wish it hadn't taken this long for me to man up.”

“As far as I was concerned, we'd come to a draw: I hadn't wanted to come, and she didn't want me to leave. We were even. But I knew my mother wouldn't see it that way. Lately, we didn't seem to see anything the same.”