“Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?'

That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.”

“This year, ladies and gentlemen, I was cool for 2 seconds of my life. I got to fly with the Air Force Thunderbirds. (Audience hoots and hollers) You betcha! They called me up out of the blue, and they go, "Hey, we want you to fly with us." And I'm like, "You got the right number?" They said, "Yeah, Bill Engvall, comedian. You stand for what America stands for. Be an honor to have you fly with us." I'm like, (dork voice) "Be an honor to fly with 'ya." He goes, "Well, we gotta get you clearance from the Pentagon."”

“Imagine" he said, "never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be.”

“I know your kind, he said. What’s wrong with you is wrong all the way through you.”

“But has it occurred to you that there might be a reason for that?”

“If you have ever said, "I didn't get anything out of worship today," you worshiped for the wrong reason. Worship isn't for you. It's for God.”

“He looked from the phone to the unconscious figure of the Salesman. "What did you do to him?" he asked.

"He got the wrong number," Alex said.”

“Me and Harry (Potter) are not very good with women. I've got better now. But I think any man whoever says he has never had an awkward moment with a girl is a liar. He's either a liar or he's delusional.”

“Boone gulped and swallowed. He spoke to The Hat.
"You said the Highway to Eternity?"
That is not what I said. I said the Highway of Eternity.
"Small difference," Boone told him.
Not so small as you might think.”

“Dimitri: "Don't look at me like that."
Rose: "Like what?"
Dimitri: "You've got this look on your face that says you think I'm delusional, but you're too nice to say anything.”