“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But it's better if you do.”

“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

“It is stupid to grieve for the loss of a girl friend: you might never have met her, so you can do without her.”

“Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.”

“There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.”

“When she raises her eyelids it's as if she were taking off all her clothes.”

“Alcohol is like love," he said. "The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.”

“Never put off till tomorrow the fun you can have today.”

“Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.”

“Sadness can find you anywhere, anytime, so you better have fun when you can.”