“If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.”

“There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.”

“Why does he have to be my boyfriend? Are you inferior if you don't have a boyfriend? Why does everybody have to be in love with somebody?”

“When I was 15, what I wanted in a boyfriend was just that confidence and swagger. I wanted someone who knew what he was doing, because I was just faking it. What I want for my daughter is the exact opposite.”

“Had a buddy of mine caught a rainbow trout, and threw it back. He said he didn't want a gay fish.”

“He was my first boyfriend, and I made him my everything - he was my new life, my new love, my new compass point. I guess that's the danger with firsts - you lose all sense of proportion.”

“No, I don't have a boyfriend, […] I don't want one.”

“He has no right to threaten my boyfriends. I'm eighteen. An adult. I don't need his help. I can threaten my boyfriends myself.”

“Who gets the change?" the clerk asked. "You or… your fella?"
Oh, he's not my boyfriend," I said. "He's my mother.”

“Yeah, that's exactly what I want. To help my girlfriend get her old boyfriend back." He turned away again, and I heard him mutter, "I needdrinks.”