“There are few phrases that annoy me more than I won't bite. The only line that pisses me off faster is when some drunk, ham-faced dude in a bar sees me trying to get past him and barks: Smile, it can't be that bad! Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad.”

“…at the end of the day, nothing makes me feel more positive than something I can get really pissed off about.”

“If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off; If I get too tired to make it, be my breath so I can walk; If I need some other love then, give me more than I can stand; When my smile gets old and faded, just wait around I'll smile again; It shouldn't be so complicated, just hold me and then, just hold me again”

“I am not dead I sit the sun closes my eyes when I open them I see the face I lost Sethe's is the face that left me Sethe sees me see her and I see the smile her smiling face is the place for me it is the face I lost she is my face smiling at me doing it at last a hot thing now we can join.”

“Well I got a bad liver and broken heart,
yeah, I drunk me a river since you
tore me apart”

“Today, I should think of something about myself that really annoys me, and I should try to change it. Then, when I fail to change it, I can be annoyed by that as well. Then, I can be annoyed about how easily I get annoyed. Then I can get angry.”

“Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile.”

“When you bite off more than you can chew, you pay the penalty, somebody's got to tell the tale, I guess it must be up to me.”

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

“It was unbelievable seeing me as an action figure! In a few months, toddlers all around the country will be biting my head off!”