“Other people's marriages are a perpetual source of amazement.”

“Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.”

“Marriage was something I thought happened only to other people, like fatal traffic accidents.”

“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”

“Of all actions of a man's life his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life 'tis most meddled with by other people.”

“The more I think about language, the more it amazes me that people ever understand each other at all.”

“Nothing,' wrote Tolstoy, 'can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.”

“The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to
think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.
- Wally's Keynote Speech”

“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.”

“Marriage… is the union of two people of different sexes with a view to the mutual possession of each other's sexual attributes for the duration of their lives.”