“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.”

— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

Last update Sept. 27, 2023. History

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Oscar Wilde812

Irish writer and poet 1854–1900

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“To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Lady Bracknell, Act III
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“Before and after practicing Judo or engaging in a match, opponents bow to each other. Bowing is an expression of gratitude and respect. In effect, you are thanking your opponent for giving you the opportunity to improve your technique.”

Kanō Jigorō (1860–1938) Japanese educator and judoka

Source: Kodokan Judo (1882), P. 31

“The curse which lies upon marriage is that too often the individuals are joined in their weakness rather than in their strength, each asking from the other instead of finding pleasure in giving.”

Simone de Beauvoir book The Second Sex

Bk. 2, Pt.. 5, Ch. 2: The Mother, p. 522
The Second Sex (1949)
Context: The curse which lies upon marriage is that too often the individuals are joined in their weakness rather than in their strength, each asking from the other instead of finding pleasure in giving. It is even more deceptive to dream of gaining through the child a plenitude, a warmth, a value, which one is unable to create for oneself; the child brings joy only to the woman who is capable of disinterestedly desiring the happiness of another, to one who without being wrapped up in self seeks to transcend her own existence.

“I always advise people never to give advice.”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

“A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.”

Rainer Maria Rilke book Letters to a Young Poet

Source: Letters to a Young Poet

“I couldn't advise others to try such a long distance marriage, but for us it works perfectly. We are three thousand miles apart, it is true, but the big thing is that we each have our careers without interference from the other. My husband can't leave his practice and I can't leave Hollywood, but neither of us has any thought of giving up either the career or each other. Some day we shall again live in our 'honeymoon' apartment - but in the meantime, for us, this is the best possible way.”

Irene Dunne (1898–1990) American actress

The Girl Nobody Knows; New Movie Magazine, Reginald Taviner (October 1932) http://www.irenedunnesite.com/press/new-movie-magazine-october-1932/.

“I had long wished for some opportunity of endeavouring to explain… the principles on which the instruments of an Observatory are constructed, (omitting all details, so far as they are merely subsidiary,) and the principles on which the observations made with these instruments are treated…
Such an opportunity appeared to present itself in the course of Lectures which I engaged to give to the Members of the Ipswich Museum and their friends.”

George Biddell Airy (1801–1892) English mathematician and astronomer

Introduction
Popular Astronomy: A Series of Lectures Delivered at Ipswich (1868)

“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”

Harry Truman (1884–1972) American politician, 33rd president of the United States (in office from 1945 to 1953)

Interview http://books.google.com/books?id=r03gAAAAMAAJ&q=%22I+have+found+the+best+way+to+give+advice+to+your+children+is+to+find+out+what+they+want+and+then+advise+them+to+do+it%22&pg=PA104#v=onepage with Margaret Truman, sitting in for host Edward R. Murrow, on Person to Person, CBS Television ( 27 May 1955 http://www.tv.com/shows/person-to-person/may-27-1955-1040725/)

“Schooling, which we engage in and which supposedly creates equal opportunities, has become the unique, never-before-attempted way of dividing the whole society into classes. Everybody knows at which level of his twelve or sixteen years of schooling he has dropped out, and in addition knows what price tag is attached to the higher schooling he has gotten. It's a history of degrading the majority of people.”

Ivan Illich (1926–2002) austrian philosopher and theologist

We the People interview (1996)
Context: The latent function of schooling, that is, the hidden curriculum, which forms individuals into needy people who know that they have now satisfied a little bit of their needs for education, is much more important... The idea that people are born with needs, that needs can be translated into rights, that these rights can be translated into entitlements, is a development of the modem world and it's reasonable, it's acceptable, it's obvious only for people who have had some of their educational needs awakened or created, then satisfied, and then learned that they have less than others. Schooling, which we engage in and which supposedly creates equal opportunities, has become the unique, never-before-attempted way of dividing the whole society into classes. Everybody knows at which level of his twelve or sixteen years of schooling he has dropped out, and in addition knows what price tag is attached to the higher schooling he has gotten. It's a history of degrading the majority of people.

“I can say that marriage is — Marriage existed before governments existed. This is a napkin. I can call this napkin a "paper towel". But it is a napkin. Why? Because it is what it is. Right? You can call it whatever you want, but it doesn't change the character of what it is. Sort of the metaphysical. Right? So people come out and say marriage is something else. A marriage is the marriage of five people. Maybe five, ten, twenty. Marriage can be between fathers and daughters, marriage can be between any two people, any four people, any ten people, it can be any kind of relationship, and we can call it "marriage."”

Rick Santorum (1958) American politician

But it doesn't make it marriage. Why? Because there are certain things, certain qualities, that attach to the definition of what marriage is.
Rick Santorum:Obama's health care "will rob America of its soul"
2011-08-08
Politics Blog
San Francisco Chronicle
Joe
Garofoli
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=94912
2011-08-28

“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.”

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