“Nick: I've also found someone to take an option on the photographs.
Mrs Prentice: What photographs?
Nick: I had a camera concealed in the room.
Mrs Prentice: When I gave myself to you the contract didn't include cinematic rights.
Nick: I'd like a hundred quid for the negatives. You've got until lunchtime.
Mrs Prentice: I shall complain to the manager.
Nick: It will do you no good. He took the photographs.
Mrs. Prentice: Oh, this is scandalous! I'm a married woman.
Nick: You didn't behave like a married woman last night.”

“Mrs Prentice: You put me in an impossible position.
Nick: No position is impossible when you're young and healthy.”

“Nick: I'm sorry if my behaviour last night caused your wife anxiety, but I've a burning desire to sleep with every woman I meet.
Prentice: That's a filthy habit and, in my opinion, very injurious to the health.
Nick: It is, sir. My health's never been the same since I went off stamp-collecting.
Prentice: We have an overall moral policy in this clinic from which even I am not exempt. Whilst you're with us I shall expect you to show an interest in no one's sexual organs but your own.
Nick: I would miss a lot of fun that way.
Prentice: That is the object of the exercise.”

“Mrs Prentice: My uterine contractions have been bogus for some time!
Prentice: What a discovery! Married to the mistress of the fraudulent climax.”

“Mrs. Gautier, I hear there are places online where you can sell children for a good price. Nick is still young enough, he should fetch enough to tide you over for a bit.” – Rosa”

“Nick as in my former boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, ex-boyfriend, ex-alive if I ever got hold of him Nick.”

“Nick Machiavel had ne'er a trick,
Though he gave his name to our Old Nick.”

“Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick)
I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba)
(Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)”

“Shut up, Nick. (Talon)
'Shut up, Nick, heel, sit, fetch.’ Love you too, Celt. (Nick)”

“"Jolly old St. Nick!*" (Nick Swisher and Nick Johnson)”