“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”

Treadmill to Oblivion.

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Fred Allen12

comedian 1894–1956

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“A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.”

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Source: The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America (1961), p. 57.

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“Avoid men who call you Baby, and women who have no friends, and dogs that scratch at their bellies and refuse to lie down at your feet. Wear dark glasses; bathe with lavender oil and cool fresh water. Seek shelter from the sun at noon.”

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“A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.”

H.L. Mencken (1880–1956) American journalist and writer

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“Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of your life’s expectations for happiness into the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work.”

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“A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.”

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“Let's drink to the hard working people
Let's drink to the salt of the earth
...Raise your glass to the hard working people
...Who need leaders but get gamblers instead”

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"Salt of the Earth" (co-written with Keith Richards) on the Rolling Stones' 1968 album Beggars Banquet (1968).
Lyrics

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist

16 August 1925
Enough Rope (1926)

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