“Thus, after pursuing those images, I overtook them. Now I know that I invented them. But inventing is a creation, not a lie.”

“Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.”

“Thank God for these gay demonstrators. If I didn't have them, I'd have to invent them. They give me all the publicity I need.”

“[When suggested he could have invented crisps] I couldn’t have invented crisps. […] I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. […] I invented apples. […] I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.”

“I don't invent characters because the Almightly has already invented millions… Just like experts at fingerprints do not create fingerprints but learn how to read them.”

“I never saw any of them again — except the cops. No way has yet been invented to say goodbye to them.”

“Invention:
I always wanted to invent something that would move around & make funny noises & would change the world as we know it & I forgot all about that until we had kids & now I see I came pretty close.”

“I will prefix the motives which originally gave rise to buildings and the development of inventions in this field, following in the steps of early nature and of those writers who have devoted treatises to the origins of civilization and the investigation of inventions. My exposition will, therefore, follow the instruction which I have received from them.”

“Actually we did not have the feelings we said we had until we spoke them--at least I didn't; to phrase them was to invent them and own them.”

“I believe, however, that humans are the only animals that we know who invents tools for working together - and they have done that as long as we have considered them human.”