“If you can visualize a bulldog which has just been kicked in the ribs and had its dinner sneaked by the cat, you will have Hildebrand Glossop as he now stood before me.”

“Just reflecting on the fact that when the Universe punches you in the teeth, it never just lets you fall down. It kicks you in the ribs a couple of times and dumps mud on your head.”

“How are you?"
"Perfectly fine," he said.
"Are your ribs broken?"
"Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully."
"Did this settle anything?"
"It made me feel better," he said, sitting up. "Did you see me kick him in the kidneys?"
"I saw.”

“Suppose an ass had kicked me, would you have had me bring an action against him?”

“What I gotta do?
Cats don't even have a clue
Can't stand to see
Me kick a flow so unbelievably
And never gave a hand
Askin' 'bout the backup plan
Now that it's true
Forever tellin' me that you always knew”

“You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best… you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.”

“Please come to me, Cat, because there's no surviving you. You don't have to love me back. You don't have to be mine. Just let me be yours.”

““Yes, maybe it’s just one colossal big joke with no point to it.” Lazarus stood up and stretched and scratched his ribs. “But I can tell you this, Andy, whatever the answers are, here’s one monkey that’s going to keep on climbing, and looking around him to see what he can see, as long as the tree holds out.””

“Mr. Iwata, perhaps this year I can just take the names and you can kick the…. you know…”

“Having many cats is good. If you feel bad, you look at the cats and you feel better, because they know that everything is just the way it is. You don't have to be nervous about anything. And they know it. They are saviors. The more cats you have, the longer you will live. If you have a hundred cats, you will live ten times longer than if you have ten. One day, this will be known and people will have thousands of cats.”