“Fight, flight, and screw up royaly.”

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

“Oh, that fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

“People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and ready to explode.”

“I was going to fight vampires, and my name wasn't Buffy--I was so screwed.”

“Given enough time humans will screw up Wikipedia just as they have screwed up everything else, but so far it's not too bad.”

“What the hell? We’re all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don’t have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.”

“I try to live with few rules, but one that I’ve adopted over the years is this: if it’s down to me being screwed up, or everybody else being screwed up, it is far, far, far more likely that I’m the one who’s screwed up.”

“… you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)”

“How many of you watched the vice presidential debate expecting Sarah Palin to screw up? Be honest. [cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the debate expecting Joe Biden to screw up? [more cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the baseball game knowing the Cubs would screw up?”