Rodney Dangerfield: Cytaty po angielsku
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Wariant: My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
Wariant: I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
“What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend.”
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 19
Wariant: What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 9
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 16
Quoted in Bob Fenster, Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros (2005), p. 37
Wariant: I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet.
Wariant: One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
“I was so ugly… When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!”
Actually originated with Henny Youngman.. <br class="br">Misattributed <br class="br">Wariant: I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself. <br class="br">Źródło: Youngman H. 101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman, 1976. Brochure. Cited in: Essays of an Information Scientist, Vol:4, p.515-518, 1979-80, Current Comments #26, p. 516, June 30, 1980 PDF http://www.garfield.library.upenn.edu/essays/v4p515y1979-80.pdf
“I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 18
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 6
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 7
“I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.”
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 59
“I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.”
Wariant: I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 8
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 10
Źródło: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 21
