Dorothy Parker cytaty

strona 2

„Żyletka? – krew, nieporządek;
Rzeka? – moczy;
Tabletka? – zła na żołądek;
Kwas? – szczypie w oczy;
Rewolwer? – a zezwolenie?
Pętla? – pęka w pierwszym użyciu;
Gaz? – czuć go wszędzie szalenie;
Lepiej już pozostać przy życiu.”

„Ci, którzy znają sztorm, umierają z nudów, gdy panuje wokół spokój.”

„Kiedy dziewczyna wychodzi za mąż, zamienia zainteresowanie dziesięciu młodych ludzi na brak zainteresowania jednego.”

„Mężczyzna chętnie zapłaci za rozwód nawet sto tysięcy, żeby uwolnić się od uczuć żony, które nie warte były dla niego dwóch groszy.”

„Nie patrz na mnie tym tonem głosu.”

“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me.”

“Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.”

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”

“Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.”

“I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.”

“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair.”

“Women and elephants never forget.”

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.”

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

“But I don't give up; I forget why not.”

“I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.”

“A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.”

“The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.”

“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”

“You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.”

“Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”

“There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.”

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

“I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.”

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”