George Carlin híres idézetei
„Amerikában bárkiből lehet elnök. Talán ez lehet a baj.”
Eredeti: In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
George Carlin Idézetek az emberekről
„Éppen annyi hatalmam van, mint a pápának. Csak kevesebb ember hisz benne.”
Eredeti: I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
Eredeti: I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin idézetek
Eredeti: The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.
„Nem a magas helyektől félek, hanem attól, hogy leesek.”
Eredeti: I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
Eredeti: If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
„A tulajdon lopás. Senki sem "birtokol" semmit. Ha meghalsz, mindened itt marad.”
Eredeti: Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.
Eredeti: Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Eredeti: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
Eredeti: When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.
Eredeti: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
„Amerikai álomnak hívják, mert aludnod kell ahhoz, hogy elhidd.”
Eredeti: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Forrás: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Is_Worth_Losing
http://citatum.hu/szerzo/George_Carlin Citatum - George Carlin idézetek
„Mikor hozza már Jézus a disznóhúst?”
Ezzel a címmel nem csak 3 világvallást, hanem a vegetáriánusokat is sikerült megsérteni.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin: Idézetek angolul


Forrás: George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Recent Grammy Winners Braindroppings and Napalm & Silly Putty
Variations of this piece have also been misattributed to Andy Rooney and Woody Allen. The original source is a variation on a piece by Sean Morey. ( "snopes.com: Andy Rooney on Everything", Snopes.com, 2012-09-09 http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp, )
Misattributed
Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)
Forrás: When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
“It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Kontextus: They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin’ years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in the big club.... The table is tilted, folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice.... And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.

“You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you.”
Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Kontextus: There's a reason for this, there's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't look for it. Be happy with what you've got... because the owners of this country don’t want that. I'm talking about the real owners now... the real owners. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls. They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. Lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want. They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right.

Forrás: Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)
Las Vegas CityLife, August 9, 2007 http://www.lvcitylife.com/articles/2007/08/10/ae/stage/iq_15893857.txt
Interviews, Print Interviews
Books, Brain Droppings (1997)
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”
Books, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)
Forrás: When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?