“What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course”

“"They'll bloody kill you." "Maybe they'll turn and run. "God save Ireland, and why would they do that?" "Because God wears a green jacket, of course."”

Bernard Cornwell (1944) British writer

“I told my wife, I said, "You get there at 5:30 you can fly with me but let me tell you something Sugar Tits, at 5:31 I am wheels up and I am fucking gone!" ...I said that. Not very loud, but I said it. 5:31 gets there. Is she there? No! Do I leave? ...No! 6:01 gets there. Is she there? No. Do I leave? No. Why? Because this dick won't suck itself, that's why.”

Ron White (1956) American comedian

“The last time I'd seen the Minotaur, he'd been wearing nothing but his tighty whities. I don't know why. Maybe he'd been shaken out of bed to chase me.”

Rick Riordan book The Last Olympian

“I don't wear anything in bed. But I'm not ready for a nude scene quite yet.”

Nigella Lawson (1960) British food writer, journalist and broadcaster

“Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

“Getting over what you did to me is not why I get out of bed anymore.”

Naomi Shihab Nye (1952) American writer

“Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up.”

Ridley Pearson (1953) American writer

“On homosexuals- I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that - Video Podcast|Video Podcast 5”

Karl Pilkington (1972) English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer

“Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?”

Douglas Adams (1952–2001) English writer and humorist