“When we live in a society where people genuinely feel that what matters most is the romantic partnership, we have learned that other people will value and prioritize a romantic partner above all other relationships. Therefore, you are only genuinely secure and only have leverage for getting your needs met in a relationship, if you are that person’s romantic partner.”

“One of the biggest barriers to people getting their needs met in the modern world is that so many people glorify the romantic partnership while devaluing every other type of relationship.”

“People and families and cultures and religions and government organizations and educational sources and forms of entertainment have all been indoctrinating you with the false idea that marriage is the most important relationship you will have. And that the romantic pair bond is the only relationship in which your needs can be met.”

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, the only one that will make us happy, the only one in which we can feel secure and establish a sense of guarantee, we will fail to recognize and we will devalue all of the other forms of relationships around us; as well as the plentitude of resources that each one offers us.”

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, we will put all the pressure on that other person to be the one to meet all of our needs, which is impossible. No one person can meet all of our needs. So, it is a set up for disappointment and for pain.”

“Giving generously in romantic relationships, and in all other bonds, means recognizing when the other person needs our attention. Attention is an important resource.”

“You want a happy romantic relationship? Don’t ruin it by getting married.”

“Only when our love for someone exceeds our need for them do we have a shot at a genuine relationship together.”

“Every person is a possibility. The hopeless romantics feel it most acutely, but even for others, the only way to keep going is to see every person as a possibility.”

“To build a secure relationship, caretake the insecurity and unsafety of the other person in the relationship. And recognize when you feel insecure or unsafe in your relationship so that you can very quickly initiate re-establishing security and safety with the other person.”