“Longfellow Serenade,
Such were the plans I'd made.
For she was a lady
And I was a dreamer,
With only words to trade.”

Dates to 1899, American humor origin, originally featuring a woman upset by a man&#x27;s cigar smoking. Cigar often removed in later versions, coffee added in 1900. Incorrectly attributed in Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, Glitter and Gold (1952). <br class="br">See various early citations and references to refutations at “If you were my husband, I’d poison your coffee” (Nancy Astor to Churchill?) http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/if_you_were_my_husband_id_poison_your_coffee_nancy_astor_to_churchill, Barry Popik, The Big Apple,&#x27; February 09, 2009 <br class="br">Early examples include 19 November 1899, Gazette-Telegraph (CO), &quot;Tales of the Town,&quot; p. 7, and early attributions are to American humorists Marshall P. Wilder and De Wolf Hopper. <br class="br">Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations, by Richard Langworth, PublicAffairs, 2008, p. 578. <br class="br">The Yale Book of Quotations, edited by Fred R. Shapiro, New Haven, CT, Yale University Press, 2006, p. 155. <br class="br">George Thayer, The Washington Post (April 27, 1971), p. B6. <br class="br">Misattributed <br class="br">Variant: Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I&#x27;d put arsenic in your morning coffee.<br><br>Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I&#x27;d drink it.