“I was walking down the street the other day when this guy asked if I wanted a frozen banana…I said 'no' but then thought I might want a regular banana later, so…yeah.”

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

“"4 example the other day i saw a black person walking down the street and i was like "omg a negro" but instead of walking on the other side i said "what would rumsfeld do?" so i stayed on the sidewalk. when he came up to me i wanted to show him that i have no problems with people of color so i said "hey" and offered him my spare change before he could even ask."”

“I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.”

“If this is justice, I am a banana.”

“You want to take me to a movie?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off.”

“I knew there was a reason I didnt turn you into a banana slug."
Leonid'd eyes widened. "No banana slug! Please!"
"It was a compliement, silly. Forbidden is good! Sadie likes forbidden!”

“I could carve a better man out of a banana. ”

“About ten days later, it being the time of year when the National collected down and outs to walk on and understudy I arrived at the head office of the National Theatre in Aquinas Street in Waterloo.”

“I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel?”