“[about rental car employees who ask if he wants the additional insurance]
I say "Yes, I would. 'Cause you've got a Ford Fiesta that's about to see more airtime than a skateboard at the X-Games."”

“Let's go siesta
In your Ford Fiesta”

“The thing about That Guy Is a Gigolo," Radar says, "I mean, the thing about it as a game, is that in the end it reveals a lot more about the person doing the imagining than it does about the person being imagined.”

“Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.”

“When Steve McClaren said that he wasn't in the entertainment business, I asked him what he was doing in football, because the game is all about entertainment. Fans go to watch their team win, sure, but they also want to enjoy the game while they're about it”

“Come on girls! Do you believe in love? Cause I got something to say about it.”

“Ford!" he said, "there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script forthey've worked out.”

“People ask me, "Do you have optimism about the world, about how terrible it is?" And I say, "Yes, it's great the way it is" … I had the wonderful privilege of sitting face to face with [a Hindu guru] and the first thing he said to me was "Do you have a question?", cause the teacher always answers questions… I said, "Yes, I have a question." I said, " Since in Hindu thinking all the universe is divine, a manifestation of divinity itself, how can we say no to anything in the world? How can we say no to brutality to stupidity to vulgarity to thoughtlessness?" And he said, "For you and me, you must say yes." Well, I learned from my friends who were students of his that that happened to be the first question he asked his guru, and we had a wonderful conversation for an hour there.”

“What you want,
Honey you've got it.
And what you need,
Baby you've got it.All I'm asking
Is for a little respect when I come home.”

“I was just walking across the street . . . this guy [a porn producer] stops and he gets off his car and he gives me his card, and i thought about it for about two weeks then you made the mistake of saying yes and going in. and . . . yeah, I did it for about three months, and as soon as I started to gain popularity, that's when I was like, "OK I need to get the F out of here, this is not what I was trying to do whatsoever", I just wanted to let loose and rebel.”