“My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.”
Emo Philips (1956) American comedian
E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued
This has appeared rather prominently on the internet, usually without indications of a source, and is often attributed to Jobs, but it was actually part of the comedy routines of Emo Philips, who used "giggles" rather than "laughs" on his comedy album Emo.
Misattributed
“My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.”
Emo Philips (1956) American comedian
E=MO² (1985), Track Two + Track Two continued
“I always wanted to have the ball for myself; she was my girlfriend.”
Alfredo Di Stéfano (1926–2014) Argentine association football player
Attributed in The Wit and Wisdom of Alfredo Di Stéfano Kindle Location 194, this is actually a quote of José Manuel Moreno, as quoted in "Training, sweating and learning" by Marcela Mora y Araujo, in The Guardian (10 June 2008) http://www.theguardian.com/football/2008/jun/10/distefano. <br class="br">Misattributed
“I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.”
Rodney Dangerfield (1921–2004) American actor and comedian
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 59
Jenna Jameson book How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale
How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale (2004)
“My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.”
Jay London (1966) American comedian
One-liners
Jennifer Ashley (1974) American author
Source: The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie
“She's here with her girlfriend. She's half a man.”
Martina Hingis (1980) Swiss tennis player
International Herald Tribune, Sports https://web.archive.org/web/20051027113109/http://www.iht.com/articles/1999/02/02/tennis.t_0.php (1999)
Elliot Rodger (1991–2014) American spree killer
My Twisted World (2014), Thoughts at 14