“This thing here, which looks like a wooden club, is actually several pieces of particular wood cunningly put together in a certain way so that the whole thing is sprung, like a dance floor. It's for hitting cricket balls with. If you get it right, the cricket ball will travel two hundred yards in four seconds, and all you've done is give it a knock like knocking the top off a bottle of stout, and it makes a noise like a trout taking a fly. What we're trying to do is to write cricket bats, so that when we throw up an idea and give it a little knock, it might…travel.”

Henry, Act II, scene V
The Real Thing (1982)

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Tom Stoppard116

British playwright 1937

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“Rohit Sharma is an absolute star in limited overs cricket. Getting multiple double hundreds is no mean feat in ODI cricket. The game just looks easy when he’s out there batting. I suppose that’s the joy of watching him. He is able to hit the ball wherever he likes and is good against pace and spin. He hits the ball miles when he wants to.”

Rohit Sharma (1987) Indian cricketer

About him

“I don't actually like watching cricket that much and would prefer to be out there batting and just getting the job done.”

Steve Smith (cricketer) (1989) Australian international cricketer

Steve Smith after scoring 23rd test century. https://www.cricket.com.au/news/steve-smith-century-australia-england-ashes-mcg-boxing-day-video-highlights-bradman-ponting/2017-12-30%3fmode=amp, 30 December, 2017.

“How on earth are the Chancellor and the Governor of the Bank of England, commending the 'Hard ECU' as they strive to, to be taken as serious participants in the debate against that kind of background noise? I believe that both the Chancellor and the Governor are cricketing enthusiasts, so I hope that there is no monopoly of cricketing metaphors. It is rather like sending your opening batsmen to the crease only for them to find, the moment the first balls are bowled, that their bats have been broken before the game by the team captain.”

Geoffrey Howe (1926–2015) British Conservative politician

Hansard, House of Commons, 6th series, vol. 180 col. 464.
Personal statement in the House of Commons on his resignation, 13 November 1990.

“This cricket is like a burger, you can have it once a week but for a whole meal, you need to return to Test cricket. More than once a week, and it will give you a tummy ache.”

Navjot Singh Sidhu (1963) Indian cricketer and politician

On Twenty20 cricket, in "Twenty20 game is 'underwear' cricket: Sidhu" in Daily News and Analysis (17 July 2006).

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (1921) member of the British Royal Family, consort to Queen Elizabeth II

Said in relation to the proposal to ban firearms in the UK following the Dunblane shooting, as quoted in "48 of Prince Philip's greatest gaffes and funny moments" https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/04/48-prince-philips-greatest-gaffes-funny-moments/, The Telegraph (2 August 2017) <br class="br">1990s

“I was looking for a name like the Crickets that meant two things, and from crickets I got to beetles. And I changed [to] B E A because … B E E T L E S didn't mean two things, so I changed … the E to an A. And it meant two things then. … When you said it, people thought of crawly things; and when you read it, it was beat music.”

John Lennon (1940–1980) English singer and songwriter

Pop Chronicles: Show 27 - The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!: The U.S.A. is invaded by a wave of long-haired English rockers. Part 1 https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc19782/m1/#track/4, 24 August 1964 http://www.jpgr.co.uk/pro202.html.

“God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious…”

Regina Spektor (1980) American singer-songwriter and pianist

"Laughing With"
Far (2009)
Context: No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door
And they say "We've got some bad news, sir."
 No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they're 'bout to choke God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious...

“In many ways, Big Brother is the present day equivalent of a 1980s Club 18-30 Holiday - flirting, sunbathing, silly little organised games, and lots of people you'd like to remove from the genepool with a cricket bat.”

Charlie Brooker (1971) journalist, broadcaster and writer from England

The Guardian, 10 June 2006 http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,1793019,00.html <br class="br">Guardian columns, Big Brother

“It's like a supply and demand thing. It's like 'Well, this is what they want me to do, this is what they want to hear. So I'll do more of this, cuz this is great… and they love me.' Suddenly people start giving you money as well. So then you've got money and you get used to this lifestyle. And you don't wanna take any risks 'cause they've got you by the balls, and you've got all these little things that you've bought, or you're attached to. And you start spending all this money… And that's how they get ya!”

Thom Yorke (1968) English musician, philanthropist and singer-songwriter

source http://radiohead1.tripod.com/band/thomquotes.htm

“He scores goals like runs in cricket.”

Dhyan Chand (1905–1979) Indian field hockey player

Don Bradman commented on Dhyan Chand's legendary skill in scoring goals in [Hem Shanker Ray, Symbols of India, http://books.google.com/books?id=FPJCrUUu4BUC&pg=PT329, Rupa Publications, 978-81-291-2349-7, 329–]

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Tom Stoppard116

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