“To the people in the bathroom: How's it going in there?”

— Mitch Hedberg

Do You Believe in Gosh?

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Mitch Hedberg 101

American stand-up comedian 1968–2005

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“It's not that transgender people are going to go and molest children. It's that once you say men can go into women's bathrooms — men who are out shopping with their little daughters and don't have mommy to bring her in there. It's not that the trans are going to molest them, it's that a child molester now has the right to go into that bathroom.”

Ann Coulter (1961) author, political commentator

Real Time with Bill Maher https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax3wHnYGDVQ (May 6, 2016)
2016

“Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.”

George V of the United Kingdom (1865–1936) King of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Emperor of India

Attributed

“[In response to this question by Bill Moyers: What do you see happening to the idea of dignity to human species if this population growth continues at its present rate? ] "It's going to destroy it all. I use what I call my bathroom metaphor. If two people live in an apartment, and there are two bathrooms, then both have what I call freedom of the bathroom, go to the bathroom any time you want, and stay as long as you want to for whatever you need. And this to my way is ideal. And everyone believes in the freedom of the bathroom. It should be right there in the Constitution. But if you have 20 people in the apartment and two bathrooms, no matter how much every person believes in freedom of the bathroom, there is no such thing. You have to set up, you have to set up times for each person, you have to bang at the door, aren't you through yet, and so on. And in the same way, democracy cannot survive overpopulation. Human dignity cannot survive it. Convenience and decency cannot survive it. As you put more and more people onto the world, the value of life not only declines, but it disappears. It doesn't matter if someone dies.”

Isaac Asimov (1920–1992) American writer and professor of biochemistry at Boston University, known for his works of science fiction …

Interview by Bill Moyers on Bill Moyers' World Of Ideas (17 October 1988); transcript http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/pdfs/woi%20asimov1.pdf (page 6) - audio (20:12) http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/media_players/asimovwoi_audio.html
General sources

“Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?”

Tom Coburn (1948) Medical doctor, politician

GOP Senate candidate in Oklahoma speaks of 'rampant' lesbianism in schools http://www.nctimes.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/article_9ff48ab7-2233-50c1-8a13-b1b6b715f7b0.html, August 31, 2004.

“How are you? How is your wonderful bathroom? How are the books you read and the things you think? Your dogs and their lives? The weather? Your feelings?”

Anne Sexton (1928–1974) poet from the United States

Source: Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters

“I kind of have to go to the bathroom," Aria said woozily.
Ezra smiled. "Can I come?”

Sara Shepard Pretty Little Liars

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“Does Mary Poppins have an orgasm? Does she go to the bathroom? I assure you, she does.”

Julie Andrews (1935) British actress, singer, author, theatre director, and dancer

The New York Times (14 March 1982) http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B02EED7153BF937A25750C0A964948260&sec=&pagewanted=all

“All this "King" stuff is pure bullshit. I eat and sleep and go to the bathroom just like anyone else.”

Clark Gable (1901–1960) American actor

Quoted in Halliwell's Who's Who in the Movies (2003) by Leslie Halliwell, and John Walker, p. 181, and The Hollywood Book of Scandals: The Shocking, Often Disgraceful Deeds and Affairs of More than 100 American Movie and TV idols (2004) by James Robert Parish, p. 67
Context: All this "King" stuff is pure bullshit. I eat and sleep and go to the bathroom just like anyone else. I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time.

“Oh my gods, when do you not sport wood? There are bathrooms in the back, so go burp the worm or whatever.--Regin”

Kresley Cole American writer

Source: Dreams of a Dark Warrior

“"Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“To the people in the bathroom: How's it going in there?”

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Mitch Hedberg 101

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