“It's not your fate to be well treated," Ignatius cried. "You're an overt masochist. Nice treatment will confuse and destroy you.”

“Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?

… No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks.”

“You don't understand Mexican women. They don't like to be treated like human beings. If you're nice to them, they walk all over you.”

“You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve.”

“…. well with me now is Geoffrey Robinson. He was once voted 'After-dinner Speaker of the Year', so if you've had your tea, you're in for a treat”

“The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can't or won't treat you as well as you're accustomed.”

“Church members shouldn't let themselves be confused. They begin not trusting in their own judgment, and then they're finished. That's a terrible, terrible thing. First, they get conducted in with a nice sweet program, no money, everything free, free, free. And then they get sucked in, and suddenly a few lies get mixed in. They are told that their human nature is wicked and these nice people who gave them all these things wouldn't be lying to them, would they? And then I think once you start distrusting your own mind you're finished. From there you just get more and more confused. Once you think that your own mind is not your friend any more-your own conscience and your own mind is not your friend-then I think you are on your way to insanity. You have been stripped bare. All your defenses are gone.”

“I might need a good lawyer, could be your funeral, my trial
Well, I cried for you, now it's your turn, you can cry awhile”

“You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
The people gonna treat you better,
You're gonna find, yes you will,
That you're beautiful as you feel.”

“If you're totally confused, don't worry, it means your brain is functioning normally.”