“Women always put men first. That's how everything got so screwed up.”

“In brief, when women batter, men’s first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women’s first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.”

“… you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)”

“I'm sorry your pretty little world got all screwed up, but everybody's does, and you go on. It's how you go on that defines you.”

“How many of you watched the vice presidential debate expecting Sarah Palin to screw up? Be honest. [cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the debate expecting Joe Biden to screw up? [more cheers and applause] : And how many of you watched the baseball game knowing the Cubs would screw up?”

“Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.”

“Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.”

“As Harry puts it, men and women can never be friends because 'the sex part always gets in the way.”

“Men and boys are learning all kinds of trades but how to make men of themselves. They learn to make houses; but they are not so well housed, they are not so contented in their houses, as the woodchucks in their holes. What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?”

“No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”