“That's not a run in your stocking, it's a hand on your leg.”

“If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!”

“Run a hand through your hair, like the white boys do, even though the only thing that runs easily through your hair is Africa.”

“You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.”

“The leg division, Mr Spiggot. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg, I like. I like your right leg, it's a lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw it come in. I said, "that's a lovely leg for the role". I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is — neither have you. You fall down on your left.”

“Oh like you never did that before! Every man - every man has done this! Just tuck your weiner between your legs, run around your house, lookit at yourself in the mirror, and say, "Oh, hey there, I'm Roseanne!"”

“Stock your mind. It is your house of treasure and no one in the world can interfere with it.”

“Government is good at one thing: It knows how to break your legs, hand you a crutch, and say, "See, if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk."”

“Can you please crawl out your window? Use your arms and your legs, it won't ruin you”

“Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs - but move on.”