“Punch a man on the nose, kick an old man downstairs, shoot somebody or any old thing like that, that’s my job. But argue with women in love—no thank you!”

“Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.”

“Even a 30-year-old man whose wife dies is eleven times more likely to commit suicide than a 30-year-old man whose wife is living. At age 30, when men can bury themselves in their jobs and are physically and financially attractive to women, the loss of the one woman a man loves is so devastating it is often not softened even by the opportunities for many women… in brief, it is the loss of love that devastates men.”

“Old age is not an accomplishment; it is just something that happens to you despite yourself, like falling downstairs.”

“No man loves life like him that's growing old.”

“Perhaps it was right to dissemble your love,
But - why did you kick me downstairs?”

“Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Alright. I'm goin down to shoot my old lady,
You know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Yeah,! I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady,
You know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Huh! And that ain't too cool.”

“My old man says when it's time to be counted, the important thing is to be man enough to stand up.”

“In the absence of a criminal code, a court might give a reprimand for a punch in the nose in Ryazan, while the sentence in Tula might be shooting.”

“I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.”