Woody Allen citations

Page 3

“Le sexe est la chose la plus amusante que vous puissiez avoir sans même rire.”

“La confiance est ce que vous avez avant de comprendre le problème, et après l'avoir résolu.”

“Huit pour cent du succès se manifeste.”

“Si vous n'échouez pas de temps en temps, c'est un signe que vous ne faites rien de ouf”

“Dieu est silencieux. Maintenant, si seulement l'homme se taisait. Pour devenir dieu?”

“Faire son chemin dans la vie n'est pas simple et tout ce qui peut marcher sans nuire à autrui est une bonne chose”

“[…] si j'étais un homme d'État grec, je ne ferais jamais confiance aux Troyens. As-tu remarqué qu'ils ne prennent jamais de vacances?”

“Je suis ouvert d'esprit sur le sexe je ne suis pas irréprochable. Pour tout dire, je suis au delà des reproches, de que je veux dire. Si j'étais pris demain dans une partouze avec douze petites-filles, les gens penseraient, oui, j'ai toujours su ça de lui. Rien de ce que je pourrais dévoiler ne surprendrait qui que ce soit … Je reconnais tout.”

“Non seulement la vie est horrible, mais en plus elle est courte.”

“Du côté positif, mourir est une des rares choses que l'on puisse faire aussi bien couché que debout.”

“Selon moi, le cinéma a eu deux artistes fondamentaux : Orson Welles et Stanley Kubrick.”

“Non seulement Dieu n'existe pas, mais essayez d'avoir un plombier pendant le week-end!”

“Je ne connais pas la question, mais le sexe est définitivement la réponse.
Une obsession je crois”

“Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful and multiply."”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.”

“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”

“A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men.
I have the strength of one small boy… with polio.”

“Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.”

“Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.”

“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”

“Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.”

“I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.”

“I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.”

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”

“Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something”

“Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.”

“Harry: All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”

“I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.”

“I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.”

“Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”

“Harry: Tradition is the illusion of permanence.”

“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”

“Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.”

“The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.”

“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”

“Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat… college”

“I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.”

“I am at two with nature.”