Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 37)

“In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.”

“There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.”

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”

“Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.”

“Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil… prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon…”

“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”

“The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.”

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”

“If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.”

“The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.”

“Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?”

“Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?”

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”

“Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.”

“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”

“… inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”

“This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.”

“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.”

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”