Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 30)

“People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”

“Heaven has no taste."
"Now-"
"And not one single sushi restaurant."
A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”

“Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.”

“Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.”

“Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

“She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.”

“Susan says, don't get afraid, get angry.”

“… it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.”

“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”

“He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

“If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.”

“It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers”

“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”

“This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.”

“The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).”

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”

“Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.”