Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 30)

“… it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.”

“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”

“He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

“If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.”

“It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers”

“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”

“This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.”

“The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).”

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”

“Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.”

“It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.”

“Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them.
"Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?"
This caused a cheer.
"Ach, 'tis a good plan," said Daft Wullie.”

“There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”

“Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?”

“This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.”

“But we're a university! Weto have a library!" said Ridcully. "It adds. What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?"

"Students," said Senior Wrangler morosely.”

“It is at this point that normal language gives up, and goes and has a drink.”