Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes

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Terry Pratchett: 1592 quotes907 likes

“One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.”

Source: Small Gods

“… William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.”

Terry Pratchett The Long Earth

Source: The Long Earth

“Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel!”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes.
"You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly.
"Not where I'm aiming, sir.”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.”

Terry Pratchett book Wintersmith

Source: Wintersmith

“… people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“He felt that the darkness was full of unimaginable horrors - and the trouble with unimaginable horrors was that they were only too easy to imagine…”

Terry Pratchett book The Light Fantastic

Source: The Light Fantastic

“I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind…”

Terry Pratchett

Usenet

“They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“And gears," said Anathema. "My bike didn't have gears. I'm sure my bike didn't have gears."

Crowley leaned over to the angel. "Oh lord, heal this bike," he whispered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, I just got carried away," hissed Aziraphale.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather.
"You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?"
YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“He said it was better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!"
"Can't we do anything about it?"
"No!"
"Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.”

Terry Pratchett book Pyramids

Source: Pyramids

“The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.”

Terry Pratchett book Pyramids

Source: Pyramids

“They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies