“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”Steve Martin
“I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning... But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that.”Steve Martin Comedy album A Wild and Crazy Guy
“Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.”Steve Martin Source: Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
“You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.”Steve Martin Source: An Object of Beauty
“Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman — it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.”Steve Martin Hosting the 2001 Academy Awards