Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes

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Karl Pilkington: 320 quotes4 likes

“The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.”

Xfm 21 December 2002
On The Elephant Man

“It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 1
On Nature

“If anythin', like I said, he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You can't move out there for stuff (Referring to Noah saving every animal)”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 5
On the Bible

“On cutting open avocados- It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 3 Christmas
On Food

“A stitch in five saves fifteen or whatever - Another re-evaluation by Karl of the phrase 'A stitch in time saves nine”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 7
On Sayings

“Turns out it was another load of monkeys from another part of the island…from the rough bit…”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 21 June 2003
On Monkeys

“I think some bacteria have better lives than that [Karls interpretation on the life of an innuit]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 5
On Life

“Like I say, the first time I saw Steve I was never havin' a go, it was just, 'oh that's different' but you know, Steve, I was never havin' a go, it's just that thing, 'oh right interesting”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 6
On Stephen Merchant

“They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2
On Life

“If I was Noah, I would have gone, Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown, have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 5
On the Bible

“Flies used to be happy-go-lucky, on their own; the sun’s out, have a fly about. Now, there’s little attacks going on.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 4
On Nature

“I'm surprised that I won the race to the egg. I'm not a good swimmer. If I was back in there now I'd go forget it, let them lot go first.”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Kids

“We're just a weed in the universe”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 5 Episode 4
On the Earth

“What do dogs do? Sniff each other's arse. They don't knock about going "Let's try a chatup line."”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Marriage

“All I'm sayin is.. I've since found out what they do do with 'em.. and if they do do that with them.. give 'em a go on that.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1, Episode Two
On Sex

“Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 4
On Food

“It serves a purpose.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
On Sex

“Could the world fall?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 3
On Mystery

“Were you a tall baby?”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 12 January 2002
On Stephen Merchant

“On seeing an ultrasound picture- It was an awkward situation because she was happy with it. I was like 'Oh God.'”

Karl Pilkington

It was an odd looking thing. I couldn't say 'Oh, it looks like you' because that would be a diss.

Podcast Series 2 Episode 2
On Medicine