Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes

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Karl Pilkington: 320 quotes4 likes

“And whilst the lizard’s having a kip, the scorpion says, ‘Tell ya what: I’ll do you a little deal…”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 04 May 2002
On Nature

“A dog has got human eyes.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 3
On Nature

“(On Ricky asking him to do a diary next year)No I wouldn't, you know, cos you do the same stuff ever year don't ya? It's set up the same way: January, February it's the same thing, it's the same routine”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Calendars

“You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 6
On Sayings

“He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 3
On Biology

“Get married, get on with it, email us the pictures, we're happy to have a look.”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Marriage

“Is there anyone else that you look like, Steve, or would you say you're a bit of a one-off?”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 28 June 2003
On Stephen Merchant

“If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing”

Karl Pilkington

NME Radio Show
On Biology

“Whats good with a holiday right.. say if you work in a factory from 8 in the morning till 8 at night, packin socks into a rubber bag right.. between 8 and.. what time did i say he finishes?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast - Bonus Hour
On Work

“Do you know like, when you're a bloke nudist, Do you ever get any who just have like a small knob?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
On Nudity

“That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 3 Christmas
On Christmas

“Karl's Diary - Read about a pub which is gettin' some stick 'cause its stopped a horse goin' in. Its been the horse' regular for ages, but some new owners have taken over the pub and they said they're servin' fresh food and don't want a horse in there anymore”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Food

“On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 1
On Biology

“On homosexuals- I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that - Video Podcast|Video Podcast 5”

Karl Pilkington

On Sex

“Karl: I came up with a good idea…. see through skin”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 5
On Biology

“I'm just sayin', I don't like fun”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Life

“Well, you took me to the BAFTAs. Yeah, but only cos no-one else would probably wanna go with you.”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 26 October 2002
On Stephen Merchant

“If that was on my road the council would be like "Get that down, its a deathtrap!"”

Karl Pilkington

To Ricky and Steve about The Great Pyramids.
An Idiot Abroad

“But hummus. When did that happen?…but there's a restaurant down the road that that's all they do. That is isn't a proper meal, that's a side-order innit? That's like having a restaurant just floggin' tomato ketchup. Hummus isn't a meal. They don't even try and kid ya to get you in to flog you just hummus, they actually say Oh it's hummus today. Not gonna work, they shut down within a month.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 3
On Food