Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes

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Karl Pilkington: 320 quotes4 likes

“On the possibility of meeting Warwick Davis- The first time I see him, I'd be a little like, what should I say, what shouldn't I say? Whereas once you get to know him I'm sure he'd be a lovely little fella.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 6
On Little People

“Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 3
On Monkeys

“Karl's diary - Woke up at 9.55am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at me. I said, Did I tell you about the immune system? Suzanne starting laughing, I said it's amazing. She said, Not now.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast - Bonus Disc
On Biology

“On dopplegangers - How would I know which one I was?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 1
On Biology

“So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 1
On Monkeys

“The first time you watch it you'll probably cry a bit. The second time you watch it you will probably think - boy that would be bad having a head like that being picked on - the third time you are probably thinking, er, how does he get his jumper on, er, then dunno probably bored of it the fourth time. But, but it's well worth watching.”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 07 December 2002
On The Elephant Man

“Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday — what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 5
On Food

“Talking about being in heaven- It's not fair though because all them lot have been up there ages with like a chance to get a bit of sun on the body and that so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast - Bonus Disc
On Nudity

“What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 4
On Life

“It's just easier to put stuff off once we've got this calendar, whereas if we didnt have a date you'd have to do everythin' straight away”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Calendars

“(On fun-sized chocolates) I don't know why they're called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off”

Karl Pilkington

Happyslapped by a Jellyfish
On Little People

“I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Nature

“You won't get anything done by planning.”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 3: Christmas
On Life

“If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. - Karl interprets the phrase Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 6
On Sayings

“As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when you're rememberin' 'im[Karl on how he hates Christmas being the same date each year]”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Christmas

“The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 21 June 2003
On Stephen Merchant

“I wouldn't put a date on that pancake day anyway, just av 'em when you want, have it when you want. There's no big deal. You've got to make 'em yourself, it's not like some place is openin' to do it. Have em when you want. I don't know why that's got a special day on it, sick-of-it”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Calendars

“My brain's just full of passwords”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, General Quotes

“At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf [Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from predators]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 3
On Biology

“I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2
On Travel