Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes (page 2)

“Yeh I know but, I remember one on our estate, right. And she was a bit… what's the word that you can use cos I don't want to offend anyone? I'd say mental… but sort of mental homeless, is that a term?”

“That impresses me more, inventin' electricity[Talking about Benjamin Franklin]”

“Just been into the zoo, 'avin a look round an that. Went into the, er, into the aquarium. Mental, the amount of fish that are knockin' about”

“It would be impossible, I'd just chuck meself into the salt pot or something. I'd hate that, that would be horrible that [Karl answering Ricky's question of how he would get Suzanne's attention in the Kitchen if he were a slug]”

“My auntie Nora right, all her food is mashed. She's got teeth but she don't need 'em [Karl on how his auntie blends her food and never uses her teeth]”

“On octopuses - When you see 'em in films, they're running about an' that and everyone likes an octopus.”

“Yeah but everyone was a saint years ago, that seemed to be thrown about back then. Who's a saint now, in this year, who's a saint? And yet this guy, lived in a hut in the woods, 'oh yeah that's Saint John or whatever.' He wasn't a saint, he did nothin [Karl arguing with Steve and Ricky about Russian artifacts containing a portrait of a Russian Saint]”

“I will not be lickin a frog, so there's nothin' to worry about”

“Say if I was in charge and someone said that buildin' needs knockin' down, it's dangerous, if we didn't have a calendar we'd go 'erm let's do it now then.' Whereas cos we've got a calendar it's easy to say…'next Wednesday”

“On seals - Its between a fish and a dog.”

“No ones been up that high!”

“It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep”

“You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad - Karl re-evaluates the phrase A stitch in time saves nine.”

“Well I'm trying to think what I put in… I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.”

“So I was watchin David Attenborough.. he makes his money out of flies and that dun' he”

“On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2”

“The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.”

“I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'. - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus.”

“I don't cry. Water doesn't leave my head. I've got loads of gob. That's how water leaves me, it's not out of my eyes.”