Karl Pilkington: Trending quotes

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Karl Pilkington: 320 quotes4 likes

“[Ricky asks what else he would do with the power of invisibility]Dunno, you could sort of go in shops when they're shut, just get in before they lock up.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 4
On Powers

“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.”

Karl Pilkington

The Moaning of Life, Karl on Kids

“Yeh I know but, I remember one on our estate, right. And she was a bit… what's the word that you can use cos I don't want to offend anyone? I'd say mental… but sort of mental homeless, is that a term?”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 2
On People

“That impresses me more, inventin' electricity[Talking about Benjamin Franklin]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 4
On Life

“Just been into the zoo, 'avin a look round an that. Went into the, er, into the aquarium. Mental, the amount of fish that are knockin' about”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 1
On Life

“It would be impossible, I'd just chuck meself into the salt pot or something. I'd hate that, that would be horrible that [Karl answering Ricky's question of how he would get Suzanne's attention in the Kitchen if he were a slug]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 12
On Nature

“My auntie Nora right, all her food is mashed. She's got teeth but she don't need 'em [Karl on how his auntie blends her food and never uses her teeth]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 3 Episode 3
On Life

“On octopuses - When you see 'em in films, they're running about an' that and everyone likes an octopus.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 6
On Nature

“Yeah but everyone was a saint years ago, that seemed to be thrown about back then. Who's a saint now, in this year, who's a saint? And yet this guy, lived in a hut in the woods, 'oh yeah that's Saint John or whatever.' He wasn't a saint, he did nothin [Karl arguing with Steve and Ricky about Russian artifacts containing a portrait of a Russian Saint]”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 5
On Life

“I will not be lickin a frog, so there's nothin' to worry about”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 4
On Nature

“Say if I was in charge and someone said that buildin' needs knockin' down, it's dangerous, if we didn't have a calendar we'd go 'erm let's do it now then.' Whereas cos we've got a calendar it's easy to say…'next Wednesday”

Karl Pilkington

The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 2 Thanksgiving
On Calendars

“On seals - Its between a fish and a dog.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 3
On Nature

“No ones been up that high!”

Karl Pilkington

An Idiot Abroad - series 2 - DVD extra in which Karl finally gets his prostate checked.
On Medicine

“It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 3
On Medicine

“You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad - Karl re-evaluates the phrase A stitch in time saves nine.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 7
On Sayings

“Well I'm trying to think what I put in… I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.”

Karl Pilkington

Xfm 09 November 2002
On Technology

“So I was watchin David Attenborough.. he makes his money out of flies and that dun' he”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 1 Episode 3
On Nature

“On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2”

Karl Pilkington

On Sex

“The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.”

Karl Pilkington

3 Minute Wonder, Episode 3
On Sex

“I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'. - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus.”

Karl Pilkington

Podcast Series 2 Episode 6
On Nature