Judith Sheindlin Quotes (44 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

Judith Sheindlin: 44 quotes 1 like

Famous Judith Sheindlin Quotes

“Oh, sit down! You're as dumb as he is!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWymt7oX8as
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

“You're going to keep your mouth shut until I come to you and ask you a question, then you're going to speak; otherwise Byrd will take you outside until you understand the rules, 'cause here, I'm in charge.”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt3L8c0Dv_M&feature=related

“I want you to stop getting hysterical over NOTHING!”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1Sd5ZGlaZ0
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to have a good memory. If you lie, you're always tripping over your own tie.”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly
Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/JJMinisodes#p/u/7/hpLSM73I6ZM ("If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" - Mark Twain)

“I'm not 25, and I'm not 5'8". But I know when someone is pulling my leg.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8B09JYv4Hs&feature=channel_video_title
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

“"Yep" is not an answer!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X0wm6SyDkE
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

Judith Sheindlin Quotes about personality

“Judy: [yelling at defendant, who is being sued for bleaching plaintiff's clothes and has just cursed at plaintiff in court] LISTEN TO ME!!! Where do you think you are? You think you're on Springer? [audience laughs] You're NOT! You're NOT! You wanna go to a therapist, go someplace else---
Defendant: No, I don't need a therapist.
Judy: Listen to me!
Defendant: I don't need to see a therapist… [continues trying to talk over Judy]
Judy: Only one person is going to have--only one… judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5000! Your counterclaim is dismissed!
Defendant: Excuse me? No! What about my computer? But what about my computer? But what about my computer?
Judy: [getting up to walk off the set] That's all. Your counterclaim is dismissed.
Defendant: …and you just gonna walk away like that? That don't even make no sense! What about my computer, I don't get no chance to say nothin'…
Judy: [over defendant's continued protests] I told you - I told you: it's my playpen, I have the word. Goodbye, go someplace else!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cYWq1bm_Q
Dialogue

“to a young woman suing a former friend for a broken toilet: The toilet broke while she was using it - that doesn't mean that she broke it, and it doesn't mean that she's responsible for it! Toilets break - I had one just break in my apartment last week! Cost me $650 to put in a new toilet! You think I went around to try to find the last person who sat on it? [audience breaks into laughter] Don't be STUPID! GROW UP! That's all.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STuOR7RE5Oo
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

“Don't be a wise guy in here, sir. There's only one wise person in here - and that's Byrd.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37tcUYWijiw
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being funny

“You're irritating me. It's not a good thing to start off by irritating the person who's supposed to decide your case.”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn9XiHQBe1k
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“I mean, did you think I was just a fake person here, that they picked out of, you know, that they picked out of a supermarket? Didn't you think that I had any legal experience at all, sir?”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37tcUYWijiw

“There's just one person who's allowed to ask, or answer, rhetorical questions in my courtroom -- and that's me! Understand? No, don't answer! There you go again.”

Judith Sheindlin

Source: Quotes From Judge Judy Cases, Dress, Stand, and/or Speak Properly

Judith Sheindlin Quotes

“I don't care about your stress! You should care about my stress; I'm older than you are! (25 Aug 2016 show)”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

“Your lawsuit is such a crock of baloney.”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn9XiHQBe1k
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

“I don't know why a 57-year-old man would loan an 18-year-old cashier at Whole Foods $250. I don't know why a man would do that. But I can tell you one thing: my husband's not going to Whole Foods anymore.”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixef04_4NLE&t=19s&index=1&list=UU3QQg392IdRXlV3Sr5d9vdw
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being funny

Food

“after someone in audience applauds, causing plaintiff to burst into tears: If there's any more noise from our gallery, you're gonna leave. Got it?”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn9XiHQBe1k
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

Tear

“Let me explain something to you, Fresh Mouth: I'm the only one who makes jokes.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIYBki9QTZw&feature=related
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“to a young woman who was being sued by her aunt for a loan for breast augmentation: And instead of her paying it back every month, you should pay it back every month - certainly you don't go in and get bigger breasts while somebody is sitting there paying back money that they "gave" to you during the course of an emergency! And I don't care if she's harassing you and your family, because quite frankly, you deserve to be harassed! Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $3500, that's all.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJxMNzzx3vE
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

Money , Family

“Try not to be too nervous. I only digest litigants on Thursday.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH5TQ1ZXWNc&feature=channel_video_title
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being funny

“to a defendant's witness wearing torn jeans: I'm looking in your direction trying to figure out whether you accidentally tripped on your way coming into court today, or whether you selected those pants because you thought that they were attractive.”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChzfBGmOirQ&list=UU3QQg392IdRXlV3Sr5d9vdw&index=6
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

Way

“Consider yourself having been reasonably humiliated in front of ten million people. Now, without saying another word, turn around, and find the exit. Goodbye.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLQ3fw-7_hA&feature=bf_next&list=UUNOaQAKNIBe0AHquR9ttP0g&lf=plcp
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

People

“to a defendant who claimed he was receiving Worker's Compensation for a bad knee: Well, what did you think you were going to do for UPS, deliver babies?”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt3L8c0Dv_M&feature=related
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being funny

Thinking , Baby

“You pulled out a gun, and you shot the gun over FLOWERS! Are you a MORON?!! … You should be hiding under a rock, not acting as plaintiff in a lawsuit!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cYWq1bm_Q
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

Flowers

“Let me tell you something. This is my playpen, and I get the last word.”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xn3kw50kS0&feature=related

“I don't care whether you had a 30-day notice, a 3-day notice, or a partridge in a pear tree!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIZrjbP0BZY
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

Tree

“Let me tell you something: if you live to be a hundred, you'll never be as smart as I am in one finger.”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

“Judy: [to Byrd] Put him outside.
Byrd: Put who outside?
Judy: [points to defendant] Him.
Byrd: Him?
Judy: Him.
Defendant: [muttering under his breath as he is escorted out of court] Oh, man. The story of my life.
Judy: [to plaintiff] Mr. Britton's fifteen minutes of fame is over.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLQ3fw-7_hA&feature=bf_next&list=UUNOaQAKNIBe0AHquR9ttP0g&lf=plcp
Dialogue

Life

“Judy: Listen to me very carefully, sir. I don't want you to give me the Dumb Routine. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you're dumb, I'll know you're dumb. If you give me the dumb routine, I know it's a dumb routine.
Defendant: Yes, ma'am.
Judy: I know the difference, Mr. Carey. Do you understand that?
Defendant: [grinning] Yes, ma'am.
Judy: Okay, very good. Now we understand each other, sir. Believe me, by the time this is over you're not gonna be smiling.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbksKFlc9H4&feature=channel_video_title
Dialogue

Smile , Understanding , Time

“If I could fine you for stupid, I would fine you for stupid.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIZrjbP0BZY
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Stupidity

“Mr. Britton, don't be a wise guy, because I'm gonna mop up the floor with you if you're a wise guy to me. This is my playpen, not yours.”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLQ3fw-7_hA&feature=bf_next&list=UUNOaQAKNIBe0AHquR9ttP0g&lf=plcp
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Guy

“I got you ten ways from Sunday, madam!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl4CngB5CVo&feature=related
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Way

“DON'T SPEAK! See how fast I can get the smile off your face?”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cYWq1bm_Q
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Smile

“after throwing the defendant and his witness out of the courtroom: I have other things to do today. I have to get home! [points to her wristwatch] JUDGE JUDY IS ON!!! [audience laughs]”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt3L8c0Dv_M&feature=related
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being funny

Home

“to a defendant raising his hand to speak while plaintiff is speaking: You wanna lose, fast?”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZHLf_kXgeU
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“You say no, I say yes; I win, I'm the judge. Goodbye.”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1Sd5ZGlaZ0
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

“Why don't you SHUT UP and listen?!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cYWq1bm_Q
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“Judy: [after catching defendant in a lie; he admitted that he was living with his witness when a few moments earlier he had said he wasn't] PERFECT! So now you're living back together again. And why, Nick, did you feel as if it was necessary to lie to me a moment ago?
Defendant: I… have been staying in Minneapolis every now and then… but I… didn't mean to lie to you.
Judy: There's another reason, Nick.
Defendant: There's no reason to lie. I'm sorry.
Judy: Well…
Defendant's Witness: Not many people know that he is staying there with me.
Judy: Now ten million people know that he's staying with you.”

Judith Sheindlin

Audience laughs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8B09JYv4Hs&feature=channel_video_title
Dialogue

People , Lie , Feeling , Perfection

“to a defendant who called the plaintiff a "witch" after the judge ruled in the plaintiff's favor: You gotta learn to behave yourself, madam. I have a feeling you have a pretty hot temper - not as hot as mine. That's all - out!”

Judith Sheindlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn9XiHQBe1k
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

Feeling , Learning

“(To a football player) If you lie to me, I'll mop the floor with you worse than anyone who's ever tackled you.”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Lie , Football

“NO it wasn't a gift, you FOOL!”

Judith Sheindlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJxMNzzx3vE
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dismissing a statement or case

Fools

“PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Dress, stand, speak properly

“I feel very sorry for whoever you blackmailed, bribed, or slept with to get that diploma.”

Judith Sheindlin

Source: Quotes From Judge Judy Cases, Being Cocky

Feeling

“Does the word "shyster" mean anything to you?”

Judith Sheindlin

Quotes From Judge Judy Cases, Being Cocky
Context: To a law student

“Did that sound like a rhetorical question? It wasn't. I want you to answer it, capisce? Now, THAT was a rhetorical question! See the difference?”

Judith Sheindlin

Source: Quotes From Judge Judy Cases, Dress, Stand, and/or Speak Properly

Question

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