The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Jack Benny:
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Famous Jack Benny Quotes
“Clyde: Oh, we're not going to make that trip again, oh no.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack Benny: Where's that big glass star I told you to pack away last Christmas?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob: This is rather strange for me, I'm on the major network.”
mouths ABC
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack Benny: That star has five points.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Smell?… What do I want with smelling salts?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Jack Benny Quotes about hope
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob Hope: Put your head back through there, or I'll start handing out baseballs to the audience.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob Hope: [on being on a CBS show] I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor at a P. T. A. meeting.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Jack Benny Quotes about thinking
Broadcast on Jack Benny radio program, 28 March 1948. Sourced from audio recording.
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955)
Variant: Jack Benny: I'm thinking I'm thinking!
“Rochester: I think I cut you.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: What do you mean, you think? Can't you tell?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Jack Benny: Trending quotes
“Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Variant: Jack: Breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks?
“Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Variant: Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!
“Jack: When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Jack Benny Quotes
“Clyde: I knew as soon as we got off the freeway, we'd run into trouble.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: Well, you said you wanted something to make you look nice and tanned.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: No, I just want to reach 40.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: [out of shot] Darn right I am.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Don Wilson: Because I had to give him mine.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Clyde:' Frightened. Why, you yellow-belly. Do you want to live forever?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: It would've been hard to rhyme a dollar ninety-eight.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: What kind of tiger is that - Siberian or Bengal?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: [checking his equipment] Shaving cream, brush, razor, smelling salts.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Clyde: I wondered why he had his hand on his hip when I shot him.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: That's for me. I can't stand the sight of blood.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Don, you're hanging yourself.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Perry Mason: Maybe my writers are better than yours.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Thug: You're gonna give us $10,000, or we're gonna break both your legs.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: [Pointing to the tiger] He must have gone to a veterinarian in Denmark.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack Benny: Does it have to be both?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: When they laugh at one of my jokes… it just gets me right here. [Puts hand on heart]”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob Crosby: That's like keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Oh, it's not that big a difference. You're twenty-five and I'm thirty-nine.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Liberace: Would you like to stay for dinner, Jack?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Thug: This is a stickup! Now come on. Your money or your life.
[long pause]”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Thug: [repeating] Look, bud, I said 'Your money or your life.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
Variant: Mugger: Look bud. I said, your money or your life.
“Liberace: What do we have for dinner?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Yeah, then we ran out of water. For three weeks we couldn't even take a bath.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack Benny: We're a little late, so good night, folks.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: I'm scared, I'm frightened.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Clyde: Then the animals lit fires to keep us away.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Mugger: Your money or your life.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955)
“Rochester: You mean that shiny one with the three points on it?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: I can't understand it. On your show you always win.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: Gee, I never thought of that.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Rochester: Well, it went down two points this last year.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy.”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Jack: I know, but peanut butter?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
“Marilyn Monroe: What about the difference in our ages?”
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
The Jack Benny Program (Radio: 1932-1955), The Jack Benny Program (Television: 1950-1965)
