1. Quotes
  2. Authors
  3. Ilona Andrews

Ilona Andrews Quotes
page 8

Ilona Andrews is the pen name of Ilona Gordon and Andrew Gordon, an American husband-and-wife duo who write urban fantasy and romantic fiction together. Wikipedia  

Ilona Andrews: 428 quotes9 likes

Ilona Andrews Quotes

“It was the kind of place you went when your earthly troubles became too much for you and you were looking for a creative way to commit suicide.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Slays

“Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bites

“I hadn’t crossed the line. I’d ridden an elephant up to it and run back and forth along its edge while a mariachi band played in the background, but I hadn’t crossed it.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Binds

“No. I don't go through your things. I just come once in a while to make sure you're in one piece. I like knowing you're safe, asleep in your bed. I haven't stolen anything…”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded.”

Ilona Andrews

“One doesn’t let her fiancé fight a horde of ghouls by himself. Some things were just not done.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Shifts

“Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she’d hook me up with a clue”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Slays

“It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer isn't that odd of a choice, considering.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Bayou Moon

“I can buy your contract.” “No, you can’t. Any sale of our mortgage requires my consent, and I won’t consent to it.” He grinned. “You don’t want to work under me?” “I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Burn for Me

“Kate had never met a person she didn't want to protect, preferably by hacking at the hostile parties with her sword.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Mourns

“Yep.” Eloquence ’R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Gunmetal Magic

“You replaced me with a shaved poodle?”

“He’s got mad skills.”

Derek’s eyebrows crept up.

“He can vomit and urinate at the same time and he doesn’t make fun of my car.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Everyone had a weakness. It was the law of nature that for each being there was a predator, or a disease, or a vulnerability built into their very core.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bites

“I raised my foot and deliberately stomped on the bridge. "This is my foot. I put it down. Deal with it.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“You call that evening the odds? You demolished them."
Demolished. He liked that. "I left you one."
"I noticed."
"I promised to share," he told her. "Manners are very important in the Weird. Lying would be quite impolite.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Bayou Moon

“Some women waited for a night in shining armor. She, apparently, had ended up with a knight in black jeans and leather, who wanted to chase her down and have his evil way with her.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Bayou Moon

“Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. "Screw you!"
"Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way."
"Whatever!”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Hugh should’ve brought a banner with I AM BAD stitched on it in gold.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“Julie was an issue riding on an issue and using a third issue for a whip.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“I will kill him.”

“Erra’s eyebrows rose. “You’d have to go through me first.”

I shrugged. “I have to do something for a warm-up.”

She laughed softly. “That’s the spirit. I do think you might be my favorite niece.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“The stairs ended. I wished I knew the jackass who’d made the staircase so short. I’d throw him down the damn steps so he could count them with his head.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Gunmetal Magic

“You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them."

I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Clean Sweep

“You sure you don’t want to kiss me good-bye, baby?”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“It's a party house."
"I hope for your sake it's a very tame party." If he brought me to some sort of sex orgy, he would fly right through one of those pretty windows, headfirst.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Every woman should be told she's attractive. Men are seduced by their eyes, women by their ears." Saiman”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“The concepts of right or wrong are always consequential. It can’t be situational or it’s not right or wrong.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“I’m a rat,’’ Robert said. ‘’I’m not going into a reptile’s mouth.’’
Oh boy. Fine time to develop phobias”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Strikes

“There are only two things that can screw this up for us: you and me."
"Then we're doomed for sure.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“An evil light sparked in his eyes. "You could always go for Plan B."

"Pound everyone to a bloody pulp until they shut up and cooperate?"

"Exactly."

-Curran and Kate”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Gifts

“Living in your dreams meant bitter disappointment when you woke up.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: On the Edge

“No matter what happens, you will always be Pack. Because you have that loyalty and restraint. Not human, not whatever, but Kate. Unique and different, but not separate.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Rises

“I was the badass Consort and he was the grim Pack’s executioner. Hugging him in the hallways would be entirely inappropriate.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Rises

“I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“It’s a sword made out of your grandmother’s bones, Kate.”

I shrugged.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Burns

“They dismissed me as a peasant, I dismissed them as shallow, and we were all happy like that.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Burn for Me

“Oh, Gods."
His eyes shone with want and predatory satisfaction. "The name's William. It's a common mistake.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Bayou Moon

“I rode out of the stables on top of an eight-foot-tall donkey that looked like she had robbed a Holstein cow and was now wearing the stolen clothes.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Breaks

“Seducing him in the tub smelling of vinegar was out of the question. There had to be some boundaries.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Slays

“He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bites

“The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel's deformed mutant brother.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Gifts

“The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey." "You're drinking tea a honey badger made," Jim said. "What did you expect?”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Technically, the dance worked best when done naked, but I didn't feel like prancing in the nude into Morrigan Hound's arms. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see me.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Burns

“Do you ever think of anything
but sex?”
“Yes, I do. Sometimes I think of waking up next to you. Or making you laugh.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Mourns

“Yep, Atlanta was burning. Again.”

Ilona Andrews

Source: Magic Slays