Ilona Andrews Quotes

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“Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car.”

“Why is everyone calling me Consort?"
"Jim designated you as Consort in official papers. You don't want to be called Mate, calling you Alpha is confusing, and 'Beast Lady' makes people laugh.”

“So how was it?" she asked. "Kissing Curran?"
"I can't let him kiss me again, because if he does, I'll sleep with him."
Andrea blinked. "Well," she said finally, "At least you know where you stand.”

“Do we have a flamethrower?” Curran asked.
“No.”
“We should get a flamethrower.”

“I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods.
Perfect, it will keep him occupied.
In what capacity?
Bait.”

“The kind of eyes that jumped from a woman's dreams right into her morning and made trouble in the marriage bed.”

“Are you waiting for a clue to fall on your head?" Derek asked.
"Yep. Tell me if you see one coming."
"Nope."
"My super mental powers must be getting rusty.”

“The stallion stared in my direction and bared his teeth. Now horses were giving me crap.”

“We have to get the Diamond. And Cesare’s head.”
They looked at me.
“Why the head?” Doolittle asked.
“Because it’s easy to carry and I can torture it for a long time.” And I didn’t just say it out loud, did I? I checked their faces. Yep, I did.”

“Well, check this out. Mine is bigger.”

“He'd laugh in my face, then I'd slice him to ribbons and then he'd break my neck”

“I reached over and squeezed Curran’s hand. “Come on, you, me, a platter of barely seared meat, it will be great. If we see the navigators, we can make fun of the way they hold their forks.”

“The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.”

“I prefer the term ‘sexual deviant’ myself,” Saiman said.”

“Maybe I should drive,” Troy said. “She knows what she’s doing,” Mad Rogan said. I sniffed. “What?” “The fragrance of a genuine compliment from Mad Rogan. So rare and sweet.”

“Damn boudas. I tell him he's under siege and he goes to take a nap.”

“My mind struggled to formulate a coherent though, any thought. I opened my mouth. "Your pajamas have Eeyore on them."

"I like Eeyore. He's sensible. A sober outlook on life never hurt anyone.”

“What is he doing here?" Curran growled.
"He's Roland's Warlord. He's here for me." He was here for the woman who had broken his master's blade.
"Tough luck. You're mine.”

“He joked while Dali cut him, mangling the words with his monstrous jaws, snarled with a pretended rage and dramatically promised to "kirrrl youraaalll for this!”

“Just once I want it to be easy and neat. But no, there is never a good decision. I pick what I can live with.”

“Why couldn't she have gotten another Edger or some dimwit from the Broken for a passenger? No, she got Lord Leather Pants here.”

“I closed my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m tired. My knee is hurting again and I’m trying to teleport myself upstairs.”
“Um, Kate, you can’t do that.”
“I know. But I’m trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?”

“Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.”

“There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling.”

“It’s not an abomination. It’s a bunnycat.”

“For a second I thought I might actually be alive,” I said, looking at Nick’s unshaven face. “Now I know— I’ve gone to Hell and you’re my nursemaid.”

“I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance.”

“You're crazy, you know that?"
"Yes. But I'm a demon in the sack."
I laughed. "Okay then. That fixes everything."
"That's right, it does.”

“That suit has gone to your head."
"It's not the suit, buttercup."
"I don't do pet names."
"Do you do werewolves?"
"Okay, I'm not talking to you anymore.”

“I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.”

“Mom?" Mother turned to Grandmother.
"What?"
"She's going to lunch with her kidnapper!"
"Take a picture for me," Grandma said.”

“All men are liars. All women are liars, too.”

“Did you read the instructions?” He shook his head. “Why, were you afraid they’d take your man card away?” “Are you going to help me or just make fun of me?” “Can’t I do both?”

“I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk.”

“Did you think I was sitting on my hands?” “I thought you might be injured.” He looked at me. “We’ve met, you and I?” I deliberately took a big step back. “What?” he growled. “I’m making room for your ego.”

“This was heaven. "Hey, baby," Hugh said. Heaven just got canceled.”

“Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.”

“But then I didn't run from my challenges. I met them straight on and bashed my head against them, until it left me hurt, bloody, and dazed.”

“Now was not a good time, but we didn't often get to chose the time to repay our debts.”

“Half-man, half-beast, all nightmare. The shapeshifter warrior form.”

“You can’t blame me,” Ascanio said. “Anybody in my place would be concerned. You don’t even have a proper horse. You’re riding a mutant equine of unknown origin.”
“Don’t disrespect my donkey”

“Eleven out of twelve work fine. I'd say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try." He blinked and laughed softly. "I never know what you'll say next." "I don't either.”

“On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.”

“Sometimes the Universe smiled. Mostly she kicked me in the face, stomped on my ribs once I fell down, and laughed at my pain, but once in a while she smiled.”

“Did you run any of this by Curran?”
“I told him I was about to do something idiotic and dangerous, and he told me to go ahead and let him know if he could help in any way.”
“I don’t understand your relationship.”

“I unbuckled my seat belt.
“Are you going to jump onto his car?” Julie asked. “I can get closer.”
“What are you, out of your mind? No, I’m not jumping on his car. That only works in movies.”

“One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.”

“They say a hundred-and-thirty-pound woman has no chance against an athletic two-hundred-pound man. That's a lie. You just have to make the decision to hurt him and then do it.”

“Curran growled. "Later, babycakes."Asshole. "Good hunting, sugar woogums.”